I rarely write and publish these types of stories, but
every now and then I feel so strongly about a subject that I feel compelled to
share my thoughts with our readers about the state of middle school
basketball. Although the 2018 travel
season is only a few weeks old, I'm already asking myself, “Is anybody
having fun?” I’m sure that by now you’re already asking yourself what is Rob
Taylor rambling about now. Please take a few minutes to ready this article and try to understand what I see week in and week out.
In terms of credibility, and in order to provide a little background on myself and my unique set of experiences in youth basketball before I wade into the deep
end with this piece, it’s important that you know that as a parent, I have enjoyed
youth basketball with my two sons since they were in the 2nd grade
many years ago. I have coached them in recreation leagues and at the highest levels of travel basketball, including AAU National
Championships (8th grade), multiple AAU final fours and placement
games. I have traveled the country to attend elite showcases, camps and
competitive tournaments and I have spent thousands of dollars in pursuit of my
son’s hoop dreams. I have sat in stands
and bleachers and laughed and cried in direct proportion to the success or lack
thereof my sons and their respective teams.
I have realized unbelievable highs and crushing lows. I have met great people who remain friends to
this day, and I have experienced relationships that were shallow, self-serving
and short-lived. Through all of the ups
and downs my sons and I had fun and our relationship survived me pushing them almost to the brink! We
enjoyed spending quality time on the road, in hotels and at dinner. We loved the fellowship with teammates,
coaches and other parents. We enjoyed
the thrill of elite competition, and through it all, they became great human
beings. My sons are grown men now, one
having finished basketball at the NAIA D-II level and graduated with two degrees, while the other played DI ball, graduated, and is currently playing
professionally in Italy. This is
relevant because I have lived the game, understand the game, and have
experienced the game in many roles.
Now the truth; over the past several years I have observed a disturbing
trend. In fact, over the course of just
the last two weekends alone my observations have caused me great concern and
despair! The behavior of adults,
including coaches, parents and fans as well as young players has continued to
erode to the point the gyms are now dangerous places, similar to what you find
in many crime infested neighborhoods! Specifically, parents are literally fighting parents,
coaches are fighting coaches, kids are fighting kids, coaches are fighting kids,
parents are fighting other people’s kids, coaches and parents are fighting
officials. It’s absolute madness, and
it’s getting worse. To put it bluntly, there is a certain evil and hatred in many gyms I
walk into, and I'm in a lot of gyms!
Not only are coaches and parents turning a blind eye to
escalating violence on and off the court, in many instances, they are encouraging
physical and dirty play regardless of the negative consequences. What negative
consequences you ask; try physical injury, ejection from the game or
tournament and criminal charges just to name a few. What is also disturbing is the lack of
understanding that the kids are watching, learning and being influenced by the
adults in their lives. Through their own
negative and inappropriate behavior, adults are socializing and teaching kids
that it’s ok to yell, scream at authority figures, cheat and fight. And when everybody else but the child is
blamed for the fight or inappropriate behavior, it sends a message that it's perfectly acceptable to fight or engage in other inappropriate behavior. Oh yeah, we understand that the the code of the street demands that we teach our children to fight and stand up for themselves, despite the fact by doing so it places our children at major risk long after the game has ended. Simply put, adults who fight get arrested, get injured or killed, loose jobs and ruin relationships. Is that really what we should be teaching and encouraging our children to aspire to? Well that's exactly what we are doing week in and week out at these tournaments!
Another dynamic of the game is the high level of mistrust of any and everyone,
including coaches, officials, program directors, and media that permeates the game. The “us against the world” mentality and deep-rooted
conspiracy theories have turned gyms into powder kegs just looking for a
match. As I walk around gyms all around the country I see adults
in the stands yelling and cursing at the top of their lungs at officials,
coaches, their sons and other players; basically anybody who is perceived as
the enemy. In most cases, their venom is
unwarranted, misdirected and not based on reality, let alone facts. In most cases, the coach is unwilling and/or
unable to control their parent’s behavior, either because they, too, are behaving
inappropriately and don’t understand the impact they have on the player, or
they are afraid to confront parents who are all too eager to switch teams next week
or the next day under the right set of circumstances. Coaches are virtually paralyzed to take action for
fear of losing a stud player. Note to parents, coaches and players, from my perspective, officials just want to get paid! They are not out to cheat your team; they are out their trying to supplement their income!
Oh, it's not just limited to gyms, you need only visit your local message board to experience the shear hatred and venom of parents and coaches who feel that either their son or team has been disrespected. So, from the cover of their homes, offices and smart phones, the angry anonymously express their displeasure with whomever and whatever represents a perceived impediment to their goals.
Why is everybody so angry and so hyped up? Can it be the
high cost of a college education and a parent’s burning desire to educate their
child? Could it be the allure of a NBA contract and the riches and fame afforded to so few!
Could it be the parent’s own ego that thirsts for attention and
adulation? Could it be a way of reliving
a childhood that fell short of expectations? Could it be the high costs of participation, including player fees, hotels, equipment, tournament entry fees, gas, planes, food, etc and the pressure to realize a return on investment? Could it be a combination of all of these dynamics? Whatever it is, it’s destroying youth
athletics and it’s setting many of our youth up for failure! Let the kids have fun and enjoy the game people!
From my perspective, much of what we’re seeing is about
ego. Everybody wants to be the parent or coach of
the top ranked kid, from the top ranked team, and anything that remotely gets
in the way will be viciously attacked. Those parents and coaches who are fortunate enough to participate on a top team often walk
in the gym with a sense of entitlement and the expectation that everybody owes
them something, and when they don’t get the respect they think they deserve,
watch out, somebody is going to be attacked!
There was a time when kids played outdoors on concrete
courts or in dimly lit and poorly ventilated gyms with their friends; totally
unsupervised by adults. These days, if
the gym is not college regulation, made of wood or their team does not play on
the main court with seating for 5000, it’s unacceptable, yet another source of frustration and complaints, and represents further proof that “they
are out to cheat and disrespect us!” In addition, although parental
expectations are at an all-time high, their willingness to pay the cost (i.e.,
invest) of everything is at an all-time low!
Parents expect for their son to play for free, travel for free, to
attend tournaments for free, and if team A can’t provide a free ride, then team
B just might.
For the sake of full disclosure, the Buckeye Prep Report
and other media organizations like us could be construed as being part of the
problem by providing exposure at such an early and at an impressionable age. I acknowledge that, but I submit that early
exposure, if used and managed appropriately, can be a powerful motivator. In addition, the same way that the names of Honor
Roll recipients are published as a reward for hard work and achievement in the class room, so to
should excellence and hard work on and off the court be recognized and embraced. In our
opinion, parents, coaches and other adults are responsible insuring that
exposure is managed in a healthy and productive manor.
If I’m nothing else, I’m a realest, and the prospect that
this editorial will change adult behavior is pretty slim. I just ask that the next time you’re in the
gym watching your child compete, please take a few minutes to look around and observe
what’s happening. Although most people
struggle to see faults in their own behavior, they see with great clarity the
faults of others!
In closing, I’m a positive person who tries to see the
positive in people, and I fully understand that not every parent resembles the
parent described above. In addition,
although there are not nearly enough of them, I do believe there are still some
good people in the game who love the sport and want only what's best for our
youth. Although publishing this may be bad for business and may upset some folks, I feel compelled to articulate how I feel for the sake of the children and the sanity of the adults. My suggestion to the adults is to
just relax a little, be conscious of how your behavior is/will affect you child
long term. Moreover, I wish we could be civil to
one another and refrain for shouting matches and out and out fist fights. The kids are watching us!
At
the end of the day the ball is going to stop bouncing for everyone, so you
should ask yourself; what kind of human being am I creating? Will my child become a well-adjusted adult that I can be proud of? Also, don’t get to the end of the journey and
realize you forgot to enjoy the ride.
Basketball is a great game and can produce enormous long-term positive benefits
for you child; try to have fun people; it’s only a game people!
